If you’ve decided on a symbolic destination wedding, you’re already thinking about the emotional celebration you want to have abroad. But before that happens, there’s a quieter legal step that makes the whole thing cleaner: getting married at home first.
This isn’t complicated. But it does require planning ahead, knowing where to go, and understanding what your resort needs to see. Here’s exactly how to do it.
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Why Do This First?
When you handle the legal marriage before your destination wedding, you separate the two events cleanly. Your courthouse (or elopement studio) wedding is real and official. Your destination celebration is a full emotional and social event – vows, family, the whole thing – without any legal uncertainty hanging over it.
You also keep control of the narrative. Nobody has to know you signed papers first. What your guests will experience is the wedding you’ve created for them abroad. That’s what matters.
For more on the differences between legal and symbolic destination weddings, read our guide here.
Step 1: Get Your Marriage License
Start here. A marriage license is the legal permission slip you need before any ceremony happens.
Where to get it:
- City hall
- County courthouse
- County clerk’s office (varies by state)
What you’ll need:
- Valid government ID
- Birth certificate
- Social Security number (usually)
- Proof of residence (sometimes)
- Marriage license application fee (typically $50-$150, varies by county)
How long it takes:
Same-day to two weeks, depending on your state. Some states have waiting periods. Some don’t.
What to do right now:
Call or visit your local county courthouse website. Look up the exact requirements for your state and county. Do not assume. Ask these specific questions:
- What documents do I need?
- What’s the fee?
- How long is the license valid after I get it?
- Do you need an appointment, or do you accept walk-ins?
Write down the answers. You’ll need them for the next step.
Step 2: Schedule Your Ceremony
This is where most couples trip up. Not because it’s hard, but because they don’t plan far enough ahead. And please listen when I say this – marriage licenses EXPIRE – so be sure you have given yourself enough time to get this ceremony on the books.
Your options:
- City hall ceremony
- Courthouse ceremony
- Elopement suite or designated wedding space – some cities have adorable storefronts turned stylized wedding spaces. Just here in Metro Detroit, there is Ever and Ever Wedding Studio and The Forever Club.
Before you book anything, ask these questions:
Can you actually do a wedding there, or just issue licenses?
Some courthouses only issue licenses. You’ll need to go elsewhere for the ceremony.
What about witnesses?
Some places provide witnesses. Some require you to bring your own. Some charge extra for witnesses ($25-$75). This matters. Know it before you show up.
What are the available times and dates?
Courthouse weddings don’t have flexible scheduling. You get what they offer. Call ahead. Do not wait until a week before your destination wedding to realize they only do ceremonies on Tuesday mornings.
How much notice do you need to give?
Most places ask for 1-2 weeks advance notice. Some want a month.
Do you need an officiant, or do they provide one?
A judge, magistrate, or courthouse official often performs the ceremony at no extra cost. Confirm this.
The timing rule:
Do this 2-3 weeks before your destination wedding. Why? Because things go wrong. Courthouse schedules fill up. Documents get lost. Weather happens. You get sick. You need a buffer. If you get it done with cushion, you’re not stressed. If you wait until the week before and something slips, you’re texting me in a panic.
Step 3: Ask Your Agent to Handle Documentation
Here’s the part that matters for your destination wedding: some resorts want to see your marriage license or a copy of your marriage certificate before your event.
Do not guess. Do not show up with nothing.
Have your trusted destination wedding agent (hi there!) communicate with your resort ahead of time. Ask:
- Does the resort need to see a copy of our marriage license or certificate?
- Can we email it, or do we need to bring an original?
- Do you need it by a certain date before the wedding?
Your agent will handle this coordination for you. You’ll either email a copy or bring a photocopy. Either way, it’s handled before you board the plane.
You Get Two Real Celebrations
Here’s what’s elegant about this: you get married twice. Not metaphorically. Actually.
Your courthouse wedding is real. Small, official, just the people who matter most. Then your destination wedding is the full celebration – the vows, the guests, the experience, the memory you’ve been building toward.
Two separate emotional events. Two real weddings. That’s not a compromise. That’s a luxury most couples don’t get.
The Access Angle
There’s something else that happens when you do this.
Grandparents who can’t travel. Relatives with mobility issues. People who matter to you but can’t make the international trip. They get to go to your courthouse wedding. They’re not sitting at home wishing they could be there. They’re part of something real and special and theirs.
That changes things.
Your Next Step To Wed
Get your marriage license. Call your courthouse. Confirm the process for your state. Schedule your ceremony with a 2-3 week buffer before your destination wedding.
Then have your agent confirm what your resort needs to see.
That’s it. You’re legally married before you celebrate.
For the full breakdown on legal vs. symbolic destination weddings, read here.
Ready to plan a destination wedding that actually feels taken care of? Just reach out to us.
